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Grandparents

"The Favorite" - Grandfather and Gra...

“The Favorite” – Grandfather and Grandson – “Ο Αγαπημένος του Παππού” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

TH E   J E W I S H  E L B O W

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

“You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301.   There is a big panel at the front door.   With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in.

 

Come inside, the elevator is on the right.   Get in, and with your elbow , push 3. When you get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell .”

“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? ………
“What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?”

 

 Wise Italian Grandfather


Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family . . . . . 
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan’ you lissina me.   I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me.”

“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”


“You lissina me, boy.   Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos .”
“Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man.

 

Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘time’s up’ “?

 

 

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5 comments on “Grandparents

  1. cindy knoke
    November 10, 2012

    Oh my gosh. This is NOT funny! It is HILARIOUS!!!! 🙂

    Like

  2. Claire D
    November 10, 2012

    Ah – too funny!!

    Like

  3. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky
    November 10, 2012

    Excellent! I am still laughing.

    Like

    • Judy
      November 13, 2012

      So glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Like

  4. dorannrule
    November 11, 2012

    Good ones! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Like

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