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Dear God: Here is a list of some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog:
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.
10. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.
Dear God it’s me the dog –
Dear God: Is it on purpose that Our Names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, smell each other?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We love a nice car ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?